After a brief hiatus, I’m back with the same dilemma…only it feels much more urgent now. I will officially be 38 years old in 2 weeks. When I turned 37, I told myself that I would have this puzzle solved by 38 so I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. Well, 38 is around the corner and I still don’t have an answer.
Yesterday my husband and I woke up and revelled in the fact that we had the entire day to ourselves to do with as we pleased. So, I decided to go for a leisurely run by the beach, which is walking distance from our place. It was a beautiful day so I couldn’t wait to get out. My husband decided to work out in our home gym instead, so I was able to go running with music blasting in my ears and loving the gorgeous views. When I returned, my husband was almost done with his workout, and our next step was to decide what else to do the rest of the day. We thought we’d like to go for a nice bike ride along the boardwalk, but after a quick (and tiring) ride around the block, we changed our minds and returned home. We then decided to just drive around and enjoy the beautiful weather, knowing we would end up somewhere fun.
After driving around a bit, we ended up at Neiman Marcus, which was having an awesome sale – yay! Then after hours of roaming Neiman’s, we decided to get an early dinner – an impromptu date night at Mastro’s. Drinks, appetizers, steaks, sides, and dessert…absolutely delicious! What a superb day it had turned out to be!
But over dinner, we started discussing our dilemma: Should we have kids now and give up all this freedom? We went over all the pros and cons, but seemed to be focusing most on the cons. If we had kids, we could never have a day like this again…at least not for about 18 years. Not to mention all the other things we would be missing! But if we did have kids, we would have a new joy in our life: a life we created together, an extension of us. We both know that the happiness and love a child brings is priceless. But is it all worth it? After all is said and done, kids don’t always turn out the way you expect. We know plenty of people that have nothing but problems with their children, even late into adulthood. We’ve also been told that you never stop worrying about your children, no matter how old they get. Plus, there is no guarantee that your children will be there for you in your later years, so the argument of not “dying alone” isn’t very convincing either.
Why do we keep focusing on the negatives of having kids? I know there are tons of positives, but it seems we just don’t see them! Does that mean we really shouldn’t have kids? That doesn’t seem like such a scary thought now. Rather, it brings me some relief. So for now, it’s just me and my husband, so happy together…! And in case you were wondering, this is why I enjoyed my morning run so much yesterday: